The gift of intention

The holiday season has always been precious to me.  The turn inward (I am a major fan of turning inward - for those of you that know me well , this comes as no surprise.), the extra sense of magic, more time at home with loved once, peace, stillness, snowfall (hopefully?) — all of it goes straight to my heart. But, admittedly, it feels different as a parent. On the one hand - the magic is super extra! Sharing the lights, music, treats, magic and total sweetness with a little one is so beautiful. Children are so in the center of the joy and enchantment — in a way that we can often struggle to be as adults. Being around them can help remind and restore those places of wonderment within us too.

But on the other hand, the weight of expectation, time and pressure so keenly felt this time of year takes us right out of the enchantment we long to feel. It may not even be expectation from others as much as it is expectations on ourselves.  We WANT to create magic for our children and loved ones. We are well aware that we only have these precious few years when they are small for a short time and we want to make the most of it. We want to share, and represent our love in a way that can somehow do justice the depth of our feeling for others. And we want to be models for our children of how to say thank you and how to show love.

There are so many ways to show love - through words, quality time, gifts - whether bought or handmade, planned experiences. And the holiday season seems to call on us to dig deep or go full board in all of these areas. What gets tricky, though, is that everyone is that everyone feels loved in different ways, and each of us have different capacities to give. Some of us are great with words, some with gifts, some are exceptional craftsman, some are fantastic planners. But what if you don’t feel particularly skilled or have much capacity in any of these areas? Or, what happens when what we have to give doesn’t seem to line up with what is needed, wanted or what we ourselves have received? This very fragile balance of giving and receiving can create great weight, anxiety and feelings of inadequacy that contrast so starkly with the sparkles of the season.

How and what we give, how and what we receive — and how it all measures up and balances out — is an exploration that doesn’t stop or start at the holiday season. This examination colors so many aspects of our lives and can shade our sense of self and the way we view the world around us. Although this examination may never really stop, (and there may be many times of uncomfortable feelings when we feel insecure or imbalanced), setting a clear intention can help keep our anxieties and fears from running amok.

Intention work is core to work in sound healing and is incredibly grounding.

Breaking the ice of frozen thought patterns and energies.

Intention work uses the mind in a helpful way to cut through some of habitual negative energy and thought patterns that tend to run automatically so we can re-center, and re-align our energy in a state that serves our highest well-being. Also, when we are creating quality intentions that serve our highest well-being, they tend to serve the well-being of others too. So spending time on cultivating a well-thought intention is not just self-serving - it serves those around you and is time well spent.

Let’s be clear. Intention is not about getting a ‘thing’ that you want, or carrying out your own personal agenda. For instance, you might say “My intention is to get this job,” or “Get this relationship.” But that’s just the form that you THINK will give you the inner feeling state you’re after, it’s not the feeling state itself.

So once you ask yourself the question of “Why do I want this job or relationship” - then you’re getting into the realm of intention.  You may come up with answers like “I want this job because it will make me feel successful, it will help me feel empowered, valued — it will help me provide for my family;” or, “I want the relationship because it will help me feel loved, appreciated, safe, special, attractive, joyful, etc.”

So the inner state and feeling of well-being you are after is not the job or the relationship — it is an inner state of feeling valued, appreciated, joyful, secure, empowered, etc. You’ll notice that this inner state can exist without the presence of those exact external THINGS. (In fact those things your THOUGHT you wanted can sometimes actively work against the inner state of well-being you do want.) The inner state of well-being you cultivate with an intention can exist for its own sake, or it can be supported by any number of different opportunities or circumstances that could come into play. Do you see the difference? 

Intention is the foundation for how we pay attention. 

It’s the inner state that drives why we want what you want, how/why we give, receive, listen and respond. Whatever inner state we cultivate and allow within ourselves drives the way we see and interact with the world around us.

Think about it. For instance, if you are experiencing a time of stress, fatigue, or insecurity on any level (physical, emotional, political, professional), you’re likely to react in ways that are defensive, overwhelmed, resentful, snarky, avoidant or burnt out. Even if these qualities don’t seem at all aligned with who you truly are. This is because, without the strong vibration of a coherent intention to help keep your mental and emotional energy centered in the state of well-being that you want, you who feel you are, and who you want to be, these negative, weighty vibrations around you can (quite literally) pull you off kilter. 

Vibrations are sound energy, and we are immersed in them. Everything emits vibrations, including us. Vibrations may be in resonance or harmony with us, or they may be dissonant. But sound waves are always trying to pull like sound waves into resonance. So, if you are feeling a bit negative on the inside, you’re going to be more susceptible to getting pulled along by other negative vibrations around you. As your mental and emotional energies respond to these vibrations, the cell membrane receptors in your body pick up on this change and start kicking off a biochemical reaction putting you physically in a state of stress.

All this said, the external stressors and disharmonies in life are not going to change. There will always be pressures, challenges, times of overwhelm and times of insecurity. Realistically, we cannot completely isolate ourselves, becoming blind to stressors or pretending they don’t exist. But we can try to be the change we want to see and experience in the world. And one of the greatest tools to help us do this is intention work. 

A coherent vibe is a strong vibe.

Coherence of crystals in a snowflake.

When we spend time crafting an intention of how we, ourselves, WANT to feel that aligns with our value system, and the positive, lovely changes we want to see in a healthy, thriving world - we are creating coherence and harmony between the different layers of our energy, our inner world and our outer world. When you continue to cultivate a strong ‘feeling tone’ within yourself, you will be less likely to be swayed by the dissonant energies of the outside world. Or, when you do find yourself pulled out of whack - which is bound to happen from time to time — you will have a tool that can help pull you back to center, re-establishing harmony and balance.

Consider these examples. 

• Many of us want to see and experience more peace, kindness and love in the world. Yet all too often we behave and speak in ways that are not peaceful, kind or loving — whether to ourselves or others. 

• Many of us want to see and experience relief from expectations, pressures or anxieties. Yet all too often we behave or speak in ways that puts pressures, expectations or demands on ourselves or others.

• Many of us want to see and experience more acceptance, security, and relief from fear. Yet all too often we behave and speak in ways that are judgmental, critical, superior, self-righteous, controlling, or harsh which erodes safety in ourselves or others.

In each of these examples, we want something on the outside to change to help us feel better on the inside. We want to experience it, but we don’t know how to do it for ourselves (let alone for anyone else). What we need to realize is that the change we want starts within us.

We work on our INtention to better direct our ATtention.  

Intention work is not a ‘quick fix.’ It is a continual practice to reharmonize years of conditioning and habitual thought and energy patterns. But it’s also a step that is completely accessible. Anybody, anywhere can create an intention, continue to evolve it over time, and repeat it daily to remind the layers of your energy of your core truth, and commitment to your desired state of wellbeing.

So if you were to create an intentions on the examples above, try these:

(Rules for intentions: they must feel completely true to you, be emotionally exciting or uplifting, present tense, and positive)

• I embody peace, kindness and love in all I think, say and do. I feel the peace, kindness and love offered to me in small and large ways.

• I give and receive exactly what is needed, when it is needed. My flow of giving, receiving, love and gratitude is balanced and kind. It honors myself and others.

• I am a sanctuary of safety for myself and others.

When you purposefully draw your mind back to statements like these, and say them over and over to yourself, you start retraining the knee-jerk reactions of what you think, say and do. Also, you develop a much greater sense of gratitude by noticing what’s right over what’s wrong. Conditioning, survival, and frankly modern culture has made us hyper-focused on criticism — searching for the problems, ways we think we are failing or ways we think others are failing us. These intention statements can stop incessant mind babble in its tracks and free our mental and emotional energies for thoughts and actions that are worthy of our time. 

Even as you encounter times of conflict and stress, you can handle them from places of these inner truths rather than from places of reactivity or deflected negativity. Over time, you may find that dissonant patterns and certain conflicts begin to soften or fall away as your energy re-harmonizes with the growing strength of your coherent intention.  Again, the best intentions are those that strive to align the inner world with the outer world - I.e., those that help us be the change we want to see in the world. So, as you attend to matters in the outer world from an inner place of greater well-being — not only are you being the change you want to see in the world, the external world will tend to respond to you in kind.

(As a reminder, thoughts are vibrations or sounds as well. Of course they cannot be heard by your ears, but they are creating vibrations around and within you that will be picked up by the cell-membrane receptors within your body and those of others. So when you draw your mental energy back to your intention, and positive visuals associated with your intention - you are doing sound work. Seeing a sound healing practitioner (like me), or toning/playing an instrument on your own can compound the effects of intention work as the purposeful, structured sound of the instruments can help move stuck energy in different layers of the field so that it can be reharmonizes with your intention.)

This Holiday Season may you be filled with the gifts of ease and balance, giving and receiving in a beautiful effortless flow, with your inner and outer world aligned and in harmony with your highest well-being. May you experience deep appreciation for all you are, all you have been, and all you are becoming each moment. Thank you!!!